November Update on The Birth Guardian

The Birth Guardian will soon be on the way to print. We are looking at expanding the print area and instead of focusing only on southeast Texas, including information that will benefit women everywhere.
For the local crowd, we will include a page with local events and information.

This means we will be accepting submissions on pregnancy, birth and parenting from all over the country.
If you have an interesting article or story to share, please email me at thebirthguardian@gmail.com

Also, if you would like either a print copy or a digital copy of the first issue of The Birth Guardian, you can e-mail me and I will get a copy to you asap, so that you can better decide if you would like to be involved.

The Birth Guardian is a FREE mini-magazine/newsletter aimed at natural pregnancy, birth and parenting.

I know that many of you have reservations about The Birth Guardian, considering the initial attempt fizzled out, but I think that with expanded interest, TBG can succeed.

Formula Fed America

Click on Who's Who to see the trailer. I think the trailer really speaks for its self in regards to the impact formula feeding has had on our country.

http://www.formulafedamerica.com/site/index.html

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!!

Gentle Expectations has started a twitter feed. On the feed I will post important dates, great articles and more.
Follow me!

PERFECTBIRTH

October News and Events

Fall is on it's way in southeast Texas! The pecan trees are losing leaves, hurricane season is almost over, and high school football is in full swing.
As the owner of Gentle Expectations, I recently had to take a small hiatus to focus on my family. Things are back in order where they should be, and I am back and ready to get into the swing of things.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. This month, 10% of all income generated by Gentle Expectations will go towards a charity that focuses on Breast Cancer research. I will also be posting a blog later, focusing on the issue.

The past few months, I have not been hosting Healing Birth. The venue that was so graciously loaning us space has opted to no longer do that. We appreciate everything they did in support of Healing Birth's first year. Special thanks to Joey and Tanya at the Barking Dog. We are looking for a new place to host this monthly meeting, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

There are so many changes in store over the next few months with Gentle Expectations.

I am making preparations to launch a new website, SETXmom.com. We had hoped to have this site running before Mother's Day of this year, but that did not go as planned, and the new launch date is Mother's Day, 2010. We want to make sure things are in perfect order before the launch. We hope to make it an awesome resource and social networking site for moms from the Louisiana border to the Houston/Katy area.

The Birth Guardian has not been published since its initial issue. Blame it on the economy, or just life in general. Soon, The Birth Guardian will be back, and not only will it be available in print, but it will also be available in a digital form online at both GentleExpectations.com and SETXmom.com.

I have recently been asked why I do not expand my services to include more things for moms and babies. All of these things take time and money, and I am just one little doula, working towards a cause. I have decided that I am not a one-stop-shop and am opting to devote my energy to what I am good at, which is pregnancy support. This does not mean that I will not offer henna, or hold events in support of other things, but my physical day to day effort will focus on childbirth education and birth doula services. I will be expanding my education in these areas as well, to better support the women to come to me.

Please be patient as I get all of these things in order. I am working hard to support the moms of southeast Texas, and change takes time.

Close to my heart...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. We all know this. It is everywhere. Football players are wearing pink, there are walks, fundraisers, and something on the news every time we turn around.
Still, I want to take a minute to remind everyone to not overlook this month, and the meaning behind it.

I had the pleasure of doing henna on the head of a chemo patient, and a second time breast cancer survivor named Tara. Over the past year or so, Tara has become a friend.

While I have always had an awareness about breast cancer due to a strong family history, Tara's age, and her age when her first bout of cancer was discovered made me sit and think a little but harder about the issue. Tara was only 31 the first time around, and was 37 the second. At 26, and working with women of all ages, it served as a reminder that one does not have to be an older woman to experience this.

Tara also serves as a reminder that one CAN beat it, and still carry on with life. Tara is one of the most amazing women I have ever met, and holds a positive attitude at all times about everything. Below is the "Farewell Tour" letter that Tara sent her family and friends, as well as a couple of photos (copyright Fortenberry Photography). At the end of this blog, there will be some other words that Tara sent me, when I told her I was writing this blog.

Tara’s Ta-Tas
FAREWELL TOUR
2008

The Story:

As you know, Lefty (the sinister sister) has gotten herself hooked on CANCER. We battled her ‘addiction’ with surgery, radiation and 5 years of a low dose of chemotherapy (2002 – 2008)…..but she’s relapsed and is hooked on a more dangerous CANCER – the invasive kind. I’m afraid that her sister Boobara (the shy, quiet one), will suffer from the same addiction in future years. Therefore, both Lefty and Boobara are scheduled for a mastectomy on April 30th. No worries.

To honor their awesome life, I met with my good friends Matthew and Melinda Fortenberry to have photos taken of the ‘twins’ in their home studio. This is where YOU come in………I’ve attempted to do something positive, artsy and unique with this situation. I’ve enclosed a picture / pictures for my friends and family to help ‘bid thee farewell’. I want you to take a fine tip Sharpie (you don’t have one? what’s the world coming to??) or a pen and write something on the picture and mail back to me (self addressed, stamped envelope included – NO EXCUSES, just do it!). Doesn’t matter exactly what you choose to write as long as it is something that is either Positive, Humorous, Witty, Sincere, etc…… NO SADNESS!! This is a good thing! Think about it……be yourself…….be positive. I’m going to make a collage (or two) and display the awesome thoughts and words of my friends and family………DON’T forget to sign it!!! One person per photo, please. Write all over it, draw on it, whatever you want.

As an incentive……..whoever has the BEST comment will be entered for a chance to win free tickets and backstage passes for the upcoming Homecoming Tour (after the reconstruction – maybe next year). Don’t feel pressured, I might give out prizes for creativity, humor, sincerity, etc……you all have a chance to win!!!






PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, as a woman, I beg of you to keep up with monthly self breast exams. Get a mammogram. Don't ever over-look something that is suspicious, and trust your instincts. If one doctor brushes you off, find another. And if you can, donate to a cancer research organization, participate in an event, volunteer for a walk, and show support to the cause, the patients, the survivors, and the families of those affected by breast cancer.

10% of Gentle Expectations income in the month of October will be donated to a charity supporting breast cancer research.


What Breast Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit


Spare me your pity,
Your terror, your condolence.

The breasts are gone
But I am
Whole
Disfigurement
Need not include
My soul

Ode to Boobs, by Pip Bishop
Dear boobs,
This heartfelt apology goes out to you all
For moaning you’re too big or moaning you’re too small
For wishing you didn’t hang like puppies in sacks
Or just disappear when we lie on our backs
For squashing you flat with a minimizing cup
or those torture bras that push you right up.
Why is it always your bad points we mention
Like your inverted nips or your water retention?
Why don’t we love you as much as our men
Or the babies that love you all over again?
Maybe we’re scared to show you we care
In case, one day, you’re simply not there.

Healing Birth for July- A Summary

I would like to apologize to any of you who may have attempted to attend July's Healing Birth Meeting.
Unfortunately for everyone, The Barking Dog closed early that day, and did not inform me that they would be doing so. Of course, at 6 pm on July 6th, the sky decided to erupt in a wonderful rain storm that we so desperately needed.
I haphazardly scrabbled a note (in waterproof eyeliner, on an envelope), which I left to the right of the door in the hopes that those who attempted to attend would see it.
Instead of The Barking Dog, the note instructed everyone to head to Sertino's Cafe on I-10 and Dowlen. I know a few of you did not see this note, or were there before I was, and left. For that I apologize. I am aiming to make sure that this does not happen again.

I am so glad that there was attendance (or attempted attendance) at this months meeting. I hope that those of you who were unable to make it will join us next month, on August 3, again at 6pm. If the venue changes, I will be sure to update you all.

Thinking...

Today I got the word that a lady I met late last year just had her baby with Jackie in Pasadena. She had a beautiful and amazing birth. I am so happy for her, and somewhat proud as well, as I am the one who informed her of her midwife options in the area.

I have been thinking a lot about that lately. There have been dozens of calls in the past, with women inquiring about my services, and I always inform them of their birth provider options, and I usually give them Jackie's contact information as a midwife. I know about 6 or 7 of them have gone on to use Jackie and have beautiful births, and it is times like these, when clients are few and far between, that I lean on this, and keep going.

I obviously would love to have a higher client load, but I look around and realize I am helping women anyway, and that is all that I set out to do, and with that, I am happy.

Update on The Birth Guardian

I have received about 3 dozen e-mails over the past few months asking about the status of The Birth Guardian. I thought I would take to both MySpace and the Gentle Expectations blog to explain the situation.

Several months ago, I said that the Birth Guardian was about to go to print.
Unfortunately, this never happened. We have now skipped two issues.
From now on, the Birth Guardian will be printed on a completion basis, meaning that as soon as an issue comes together, and the funds are gathered, it will go to print and be distributed. This could be once a month. This could be once every 6 months.

There is an issue of TBG waiting to go to print. Production costs are high, however, which is the ultimate reason that TBG has not been printed yet. I seriously underestimated the extreme demand for this newsletter/mini-magazine. I LOVE that so many people are interested, but it takes it's toll, since TBG is currently free, and plans to REMAIN free. I am not asking for donations, (though they are always welcome) I just wanted to let everyone know the current status.

Remember, for those that run businesses, advertising is available. I love to support local businesses. Advertising with TBG is also cheap, with a business card sized ad currently only $10 dollars per issue and advancing depending on the size of the ad.

If you are interested in subscribing to The Birth Guardian, advertising in The Birth Guardian, or donating to The Birth Guardian, please e-mail me at thebirthguardian@gmail.com

Thanks for your continued support.

Tracy Musgrove and Gentle Expectations

The Birth Guardian

October 14, 2008

Introducing The Birth Guardian, an 8 page full-color newsletter produced by Gentle Expectations. For now, The Birth Guardian is free of charge for anyone who subscribes. You can subscribe by sending an e-mail to thebirthguardian@gmail.com .

Frightening New Technology

August 6, 2008

Wow. So someone showed me this new birth technology- BirthTrack. Just when I thought continuous fetal monitoring couldn’t get any worse… it does.
See for yourself. BirthTrack
This machine clips onto the cervix with an electrode that screws into the baby’s head. A lot of women already have internal pressure catheters to monitor contractions, and many also have internal fetal monitors, which they are told is something that is “attached” (screwed in) to the top of the baby’s scalp to monitor their heartrate. I cannot explain it well enough, what this company thinks, so I will just link to a blog that explains it all for me.

Blog on BirthTrack

What it boils down to is this:
This machine will be a defense for a doctor who is sued for malpractice, as it is SUPPOSED to show each change in the womans cervix and the baby’s heartrate. I have no doubt that this will only increase the rising c-section rate.

A Blurb on Independent Childbirth Education

June 14, 2008

There are some people who underestimate the importance of taking a childbirth education/childbirth preparation course. Those who do realize the importance of such a course, often opt to take a course put on by the hospital at which they will be giving birth. This course it touted as the ideal course, claiming to prepare expectant families for what they will experience in the hospital. Seldom does this class inform the expectant parents of all of their options, instead, only explaining those options that align with hospital protocol.

Those who choose to birth outside of the hospital, either at an independent birthing center or at home, often select a course more tailored to their birth choices, that a hospital does not prepare or host.
Many people think there has to be an either/or, and that there is not a course available that is well tailored to both hospital births and homebirth. This is not the case.

A few select families opt to seek out an independent childbirth educator, one who is well prepared to teach both hospital options, and options for alternative birthing styles.

Many people will question the skill and/or validity of such an instructor, fearing they will get someone without education on the subject or one who has a bias in one direction or the other.

Independent childbirth education can well prepare families for birth in all situations. These instructors are trained on both active and expectant management procedures and are well versed on all topics that hospital birthing classes cover. An independent childbirth educator will not be biased on hospital birth or homebirth, and will instead present all options available to the expectant families, as well as the risks and benefits of each option, so that the parents-to-be can make a truly informed consent decision.

I hold a diploma of childbirth education from Childbirth International. More information of this organization can be found at http://www.childbirthinternational.com

Healing Birth: A Sisterhood of Survivors

Healing Birth: A Sisterhood of Survivors is a monthly support group for all women who have had a traumatic or difficult pregnancy, birth, or postpartum experience.

The experience a woman has when giving birth can impact their life far beyond the first few month. Sometimes, it is more than just "having a healthy baby" that matters.

We welcome mothers of all kinds to join us. Whether you have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, c-section, overly medicalized or traumatic birth, postpartum depression or other complication, or have experienced a birth that just was not what you wanted, you are invited to join us for great coffee and healing conversation.

Healing Birth is held on the first Monday of every month at the Barking Dog Coffee Lounge located at 493 Pearl Street in downtown Beaumont, one block before the Crockett Street Entertainment District.

For more information, please contact Tracy at 409-344-3054

What Experience Has Taught Me

April 20, 2008

Dictionary.com defines experience as both a noun and a verb. As a noun, it means, “the process or fact of personally observing, encountering, or undergoing something,” as well as, “knowledge or practical wisdom gained from what one has observed, encountered, or undergone”. As a verb, it means, “to have experience of; meet with; undergo; feel,” and, “to learn by experience.”

There are many things in life that we can only learn by experience. As a child, we learn to talk, walk and even use the bathroom by experience. Explaining to a child how to do all of these things really does no good until they are able to try it for themselves.

If you look at the medical profession, most things are learned by experience. A doctor can read about suturing and have common knowledge on how the process works, but until they try for themselves, they cannot say they have experience. In fact, until they have repeated the process several times, they do not have experience, they have merely experienced it, which of course, are two different things.

In doula work, nearly everything is learned by experience. You can read in a book about how to position a woman in labor, but until you put your hands on her, you don’t truly know—and so much more.
Below is a list of the little things that experience has taught me while working as a doula, and as a childbirth educator. These are things that I could never have learned from a book.

1. How to not get offended the first time a family member insults you- you may expect a family member to lash out on occasion, but handling it with grace and dignity is something else entirely.

2. How to work WITH the nurses, not against them, while still helping the mom to get what she wants. There is a fine line between being respectful and brownnosing, and knowing that line makes all the difference.

3. When to talk and when to shut up. Every mother reacts differently to noise during labor. Picking up on subtle clues to be quiet takes time. Some women are talkers, and some are not.

4. How to take criticism constructively. The first time someone tells you that you did something “wrong,” it will sting. You might think that will never happen, but trust me, it will.

5. When photographs are a good idea, and when they are not. Even if you have discussed this with the family beforehand, some memories are made to be forgotten.

6. How to make a class of dads interactive. There is nothing worse than a bunch of macho men who refuse to participate in a class, but there ARE ways to make them get involved, without forcing the hand.

7. When to eat and when to sleep. During the first few labors and births, you may think you need to be by moms side at all times, but you cannot do a good job if you do not take care of yourself.

8. How not to be anxious when on call. Again, especially during your first few clients, you will be anxious around the clock and you will jump every time your phone rings. Only time can get you over it.

9. How to make cheesy games actually fun for a class of 30-somethings. Much like forcing macho men to participate, sometimes you will get a class of moms-to-be who think that learning games are silly. We all learn differently and these games serve a purpose. There is a trick to making it “worth it.”

10. When to walk away. Sometimes, it is hard to admit that you are not needed at that second. Knowing when to step back and let mom and dad have a moment alone can make a good birth experience extraordinary.

These things you often think you know, but only the experience will make you understand exactly the part that each lesson has on your skills and abilities.

“Doulas earn their reputation one birth at a time.”

About this Blog

Unfortunately, I had a little mishap with the old Gentle Expectations blog and had to switch over to this one.
I am far more familiar with this format anyway. I will be posting all of the past blogs to this one today, as a sort of archive and will be updating frequently now.

Oh yes... this is the OFFICIAL Blog for Gentle Expectations, a childbirth education and doula business located in southeast Texas. For details on my services, see www. gentleexpectations.com